Homemade

Another good week of riding. One more week of JRA and then the real fun begins. Coach Hebe takes over the week after. 4 weeks to Charm. Then four more to Granogue. Holy crap, that puts us nearly through October. Time flies when, well, I guess I’m having fun.

Speaking of parties. Last night was the Calvin & Amy fest. Calvin is The Wifey’s cousin. Anyway, imagine 200 people congregated on one 4-acre property, of which approx 10 I know, eating drinking dancing swimming smoking talking yelling screaming drinking and did I mention eating? I’m never disappointed in the food. I was especially pleased to see pork bbq and sloppy joe’s. I had one of each along with a several pasta/potato salad concoctions and a bevy of cookies and brownies. My favorite cookies were the HOMEMADE choco-chips. Yum!

A few months ago Erin bought a real nice used bedroom/crib set-up for little junior. I attempted to assembled the crib today and lost patience real quick. It’s great furniture but unfortunately zero directions were included. After 20 minutes of rising temper I gave up only to hear Erin say she forgot about the other parts hidden in the closet. Nice. I wasn’t about to resume at that point but lucky for me Erin’s dad came over for an unrelated reason. Somehow he got roped into putting the thing together. I heard him barking pretty good for an hour or so. I certainly would have been happy to try it again later but he managed to get it together. That works. Speaking of pregnant. 4 months to go. I also heard news that friends of ours are expecting, again. Congrats!

I’ve been working with Champ-Sys on getting some cycling clothing made for the coming ‘cross season. I sent them a bunch of logos and colors and yesterday I received some artwork to get an idea of what things will look like. Now I just need to get an order together. Nate, Kenny, KHam, Hebe. Anyone else?

I’m sleepy. Time for a nap.

Title

I got in another great ride today. This weather is magnificent. 57 miles in 3hrs. I didn’t want to stop but I was getting pretty hungry. I’m still not sure what or why I’ve felt so good riding this week. I started using a supplement (legal) last Saturday and felt a positive effect. Of course you’re never sure of the source of these good sensations. Is it the pill or mental? At any rate, due to my great rides I feel it’s my duty to tell absolutely no one what exactly it is I’m taking (legal).

Today I ran out of samples of said supplement but felt the best I’ve been all week. I did pump my Vittoria Diamante Pro tires up to approx 135 psi after running them at 120 psi all season long. These tires are rated to max at 145 psi but I’ve felt no need to pump them that high. Although I am black from the waist down I would certainly not consider myself a big person. 120 psi has done me just fine so far. It just seemed today for 3hrs it was practically effortless. Not much wind. Dry. Sunny. Not a cloud in the sky. I don’t think you could order a more perfect day if it were possible. As much of a whiner as I am about weather I don’t think anyone could complain today.

Nascar was actually a joy to watch today considering it was a road race up in Watkins Glen. I need to make it up there again. it's not that long of a drive to see a good event.

As much as I’d love to sit here and peck away so more on the keyboard I believe I here the hammock crying out my name. L8

Blowin in the Wind

Well, not really. The past few days I just can’t get the wind figured out. Despite what Mr Weather-loser might forecast, it seems like no matter what direction I ride I’m getting headwind. No big deal. Just one of those minor annoyances of being a bicycler. Plus it reminded me of some good Bob Dylan songs to sing along in my head while I ride.

I’ve been feeling good on my rides this week. Hopefully good things to come this fall. I signed up for Charm City about 7 weeks early to ensure me a good starting spot. I’m going to use that race as a “training race” so to speak. It’s a full 4 weeks before the MAC season starts. I’m going to race Charm with my PowerTap set up on my ‘crosser. As if training for ‘cross is some mystical creature where only using my PowerTap will unlock the secret to being fast. It will, I’m sure, provide a nice set of numbers to base further training off of. I look forward to it.

Yesterday The Wifey and I both had the day off so after I rode in the morning we cruised over to BassPro with Erin’s parents to use up my Xmas gift card. I hate shopping but I managed to spend a little time and pick out a nice shirt and shorts to match. Outside of being a bicycler I really can’t call myself much of an outdoorsman but that place is pretty friggin cool. I guess I’m more of a Circuit City/Best Buy indoorsman but BassPro is fun.

We then went over to City Island and played a round of mini golf. Erin led halfway but completely unraveled after I deftly knocked in a hole-in-one on the 11th. Game over. After that we stopped at a Chinese buffet and gorged ourselves. Erin ate about 7lbs of king crab legs. I took a little of just about everything offered which made for a Bluto-ish type dinner plate x 2. Yum. I typically don’t care for Chinese food. Maybe once a year I’ll get a hankerin for it.

Weather looks nice for the weekend. Maybe a trip to Haars for a good double feature?

Further Adventures of KHam the Kitchen Cleaner

What does winning 4 consecutive MASS races get you at Holmes Cyclery? More respect and admiration than ever before. Way to go young Kyle!

KHam showing off his kitchen cleaning skills

Hey Brutha

I’m whupped. A rare Saturday off, and a beautiful day at that. Erin had another teacher type thing today that sent her to Allentown for the day so I was on my own. I got out of bed at 6:45am to send her off then took another 45 minute nap. I then proceeded to make a mega waffle/granola/mango/banana/kiwi breakfast. That damn near sent me to another nap but I fought through it.

Around 11am I headed out for a long easy ride. Just what the doctor ordered. Awesome weather. 3hrs. 50+ miles. I was getting a little cramped towards the end. Afterall, it was almost 90 by the time I finished. I was famished. Before I chowed down I did a little weigh-in. 140.0lbs. Obviously I didn’t eat diddly-poo during the ride and the cramping is an obvious sign of not enough water. BUT, holy shit! I’m sure I haven’t weighed this little since I was a porn-stache growing 10th grader.

So, I had the remnants of the sushi Coach Hebe bribed me with in exchange for building a couple wheels for him. Good stuff. Thanks brutha. Of topic a bit. Speaking of “brutha”. I was riding in to work a few weeks ago and was stopped at the 17th street bridge in Camp Hill. As I’m waiting for the light to change I hear this loud-ass rumbling of a motorcycle rolling up in the lane to the right of me to make a right turn. The unmistakable driver crawls by me and waves a peace sign and says “hey brutha”. Just for good measure, as if I didn’t know who it was, he turns around after he’s well beyond me and says “ it’s me, Turk”. Priceless.

Back to my day. After sushi, a trip to the couch. I watch the Sillies blow a sure win against the Mets. Dumbasses. It was enough to get me off the couch and mow the lawn. It was on my do-list so I had to do it eventually anyway. Now I’m looking to hit the couch again. I think when The Wifey gets home tonight we’re going to head up to the Lions Club in Marysville (Home of Kuhn ‘Cross) to take in the town carnival. I’ve had a hankerin for funnel cake for a while now and I’m sure I’ll find some there. All this hinges on how my wonderful pregnant wife is feeling after her long day. We’ll see.

I feel I have to pimp my XM radio some more. I’ve been listening a lot lately to channel 150 which is one of the comedy channels. Basically they play 5 minute clips of stand-up comedy routines from pretty much any funny person who ever told a joke. This goes right along with my long-standing need to have someone on my radio talk to me. Whether it be talk radio, sports, or whatever. Don’t get me wrong, 80’s new wave is still great but I’m having a ball listening to this stuff.

I also found a channel that plays nothing but that death metal shit where the lead singer sings in that low guttural voice while the band kachunka-chunkas away. Right now there is some band playing a song called 'Pool of Stool' (read these lyrics! a freakin riot). That, my friends, is not something you'll find on just any radio. Love it. I’m pretty sure Erin hates it. How do they make their voices do that? I want to learn.

Good day.

Further Adventures of KHam the Broom Handler

So, what does winning three consecutive MASS races, including winning the third on a borrowed single speed, get you at Holmes’ Cyclery. Well, much admiration and respect, of course.

KHam - Sweeping the sidewalk out front - Temp in shade-136 degrees

All due respect, young Kyle has a nice streak going although we’re not going to just roll over and take it easy on him. That wouldn’t do him or us any good, now would it?

Awesome

Today I got out for a pretty hot and nasty ride before I made my way over to meet Erin at her office. We then walked down to the Harrisburg Hospital for the last scheduled sonogram for little junior*. This was my first experience for such a thing as I was unable to attend the first one months ago. What an amazing experience. It’s one thing to be told in a waking fog by my wonderful wife as she waves a pregnancy test pee stick in my face that I’m going to be a father. It’s another thing to watch my wonderful wife grow a big beer belly over the past few months. BUT, when the sonogram tech put those images on the screen where you can see a living little person jumping and kicking and carrying on it really gets to be quite a pretty awesome deal. Can you tell I’m grinning just by reading this?

We made it known ahead of time we did NOT want to know the gender of little junior* and our wishes were granted. You can see an astonishing amount of things. You can see a beating heart clear as day. Little junior’s* heart rate was 150bpm at the time, which we were told was very normal and healthy. Funny how most fat-asses would be bent over in agony at that heart rate. Anyway, you could also see the spinal cord and feet and arms and legs. All sorts of measurements were taken and by those numbers we were told little junior* weighs approx 9 ounces right now. Half a pound! Although it’s too early to tell if junior* is going to be a left-handed pitching phenom for your Fightin’ Phillies 20 years from now or the next great big wave surfer, it’s still a joy to experience this process. Talk to me in a year when I’m getting zero sleep every night. We’ll see.

*Purely speculation on my part. While I'll be ecstatic either way, if you asked me what I'm hoping for, I guess it's pretty obvious.

Fallin

No end in sight to the mungy weather. Kinda sucks. I’ve actually started to turn the corner a bit, mentally that is, on getting out on some road rides. I’ve been such a piece of crap ever since the start of June. Funny thing is I’m still ahead of last years miles by a healthy margin. Motivation to ride in the heat has been my downfall.

I dream in my sleep about walking outside and taking a deep breathe and feeling that fresh crisp chilly air fill my lungs. Nothing like it. 2 months. Mid-September to mid-November. More if were lucky. Isn’t it ironic that everything I find myself getting fired up about happens in the Fall. ‘Cross. Football. Hockey. Playoff Baseball. Turkey (the best holiday!).

Instead I will attempt to ride today in an already miserable temp of 91 just before noon. Tomorrow? Forget it. 102 is forecasted. Wednesday? 100. I’m not too disappointed that I’ll be working 4 straight 10hr days the rest of the week. By the time I have off Saturday it looks like it might be pretty decent.

I’m disappointed in all the bloggers who, after regaling us with countless “I remember when Floyd……..” stories, have not blessed us with needle sharing stories or blood swapping stories from back in the day. As I said in an earlier post, they’re ALL doing it. Only the ones who get caught are guilty. As great of a story as Floyd is/was, c’mon, are you really surprised? You’re more naive than I thought. I do wish Schmeg would shut his cake hole. The media always seeks out the biggest whiny cry-baby cycling has ever seen for a quick quote or three. I think we can all agree on this, we’re not interested.

5 weeks to go until we close Holmes’ at 7pm. Nice. I guess that also means its time for me to start thinking about a b-day gift for The Wifey. How will I outdo myself this time? And will there be another crab feast at Casa Hebe to co-celebrate? What is it this year Mike? 39??!!! You can’t possibly convince me that it was already a year ago Seve lifted his skirt and showed off his girlie-parts while playing Croquet. Sissy. I’m bitter and broken. Is there any honor in knowing I played like a man. I played to win, not to lose.

L8

Answer

What a world, what a world. It was 100 degrees in the shade the day I posted that entry. It reminded me of one of my all-time favorite movies. The Wizard of Oz. When Dorothy dumped a bucket of water on The Wicked Witch of the West she cries out "I'm melting, I'm melting". Just as she disappears her last words are "what a world, what a world". I know, I'm a simpleton. Have I ever given any reason to think otherwise?

So, we made it home from our Jim Thorpe lounge safe and sound. I was so tired from relaxing the past two days that I needed to take it easy today and nap a little. Rough stuff.

Monday morning we finally did our touristly duty by visiting the Asa Packer Mansion. We’ve been meaning to do it the past couple times we’ve been up there but never made it. quite an impressive place. Asa Packer has an interesting story behind him and walking through this mansion was pretty friggin cool. The tour guide claimed the place is still 95% original. I won’t bore you with the details but it was eye-popping to see how awesome a millionaire’s (billionaire by today’s standards) mansion was back in the day. If you’re ever in the Jim Thorpe area do yourself a favor and check this place out.

Outside the Packer Mansion - Neat place

I did manage to hit the Lehigh Gorge rail trail yesterday for exactly 50 miles. I wish I had my powertap on my ‘cross bike to see what those numbers looked like. Dead flat for roughly 44 of those miles. Pushing ‘cross tires on a cinder trail is not as easy as you might think. Or was it the fact that I was riding alone for 2hrs 50mins? Nevertheless, it was a good ride. I did use my HRM, which told me I spent all of 2hrs 20mins at around 160bpm. That works.

It was a little toasty on that ride so when I got back I filled the whirlpool with cold water and jumped in with only minor shrinkage. That felt good. Then I moved to a hot shower to loosen up my stiff legs. You Williams Girls (you know who you are!) will be happy to know that I’ve altered my shower routine to now include below the knee soaping and cleansing. Although I still refuse to pay any attention to my feet. If I soap my entire self above the ankles while also shampooing my head, I contend that gallons of water per minute coming from the shower washing all those cleansing agents off of me by way of my toes is all the attention my feet need. It’s not like I have smelly cheesey feet. I challenge any of you to come up with a cleaner pair of feet. Note: I did NOT say prettier feet! Just cleaner. Am I wrong? America (ode to Bernie Mac), tell me I’m right here.

Is next week really the beginning of August???

Church bells

I’m relaxing at the Inn at Jim Thorpe right now. We got a pretty sweet room. Top floor. It dropped into the mid-50’s last night. Aaahhh, that felt nice.

I worked the MS 150 ride this weekend. I had the last rest-stop Saturday which drug on forever waiting for everyone to roll through. Sunday I had the first stop which required less time but more work. Lots of flats and gear adjustments. Sometimes it’s tricky to tell someone the reason their bike is not shifting is because it’s P.O.S.

I was home in time to catch the final stage of Le Tour. Waytogo Floyd. I have no stories of being passed in the woods back in the day by a wheelie-ing Floyd to tell. I really was never a big Floyd fan. Sorta ambivalent really. Until that mega-comeback last week. That was freakin’ macho. Legendary. How can you not root for that? Anyway, pretty cool. Erin’s dad now has a new hero.

After watching the tour finish we hit the open road for JT. Got here quickly and settled into lounge mode. Due to my work schedule I don’t need to be back to work until Thursday. Sweet. Looks like nice days for my lounge. This town is cool. Quaint. Touristy but I like it. The local church bells ring on the hour telling you what time it is. Reminds me of when I lived in East Berlin growing up. I would ride my BMX bike all over town during the summer but never knew what time it was until the church bells rang.

I brought my TCX so I could do a road ride and an extra set of wheels so I could then get on the rail trail for a bit of ‘cross type stuff. Sunday afternoon I got out for a road ride. I wanted to explore a little so I tooled around town and then headed toward the mountains. The town itself has some VERY steep little climbs all over. Not exactly short ones either. I mean not a tenth or two. Half milers straight up. Warmed me up good. Once I crossed the Lehigh River into the other part of town I new I had a more sustained climb. 3 miles of it. The first part of it was steep but in steps and also still in town so I didn’t pay attention so much but as I headed north out of town I realized how much elevation I had already gained. At that point I climbed through the woods on a nice paved road with a wide shoulder. It never got hard but I was in my 25 most of the time. I never imagined I would be climbing for 2 more miles. At the top it plateaud so I kept going for about 7-8 miles to the next town and then turned around. Just before I dropped back down the climb I saw a sign indicating a 2 mile descent at 6%. That put it into perspective. Halfway down I saw another sign indicating the first mile I climbed through town was 9%. It helped me in a small way gain an appreciation for the Tour climbs. Say for instance La Toussuire. 12 miles @ 6%. Or the Galibier. 26 miles @ 4.5%. Not particularly steep but I only went 2 miles @ 6%. Pretty nuts. I couldn’t imagine something like Joux-Plane 7.5 miles @ 8.7%! Ri-damn-diculous.

Today we had breakfast at a diner down the street. I had French toast and some scrambled eggs. Erin had a mega-omelet. Now we’re back in lounge mode. I’m going to throw on the ‘cross wheelset this afternoon and do the Lehigh Gorge rail trail. Out and back should be around 50 miles or so. Flat obviously but that’s good. No coasting. It’s like riding at the beach without the wind. Nowhere to coast. Tempo, tempo, tempo. Plus it’s scenic. I can work up an appetite for more grub and a nap. Maybe a lounge in our whirlpool tub.

Enjoy the day.

What a world, what a world

10 bucks to the first person that correctly identifies the relevance of the title of this post.

A little warm today, eh? I digress. The Wifey and I cruised over to Casa Legend last night for some good grub and hung out a bit. We couldn’t come up with a movie to fall asleep watching so Mike threw in season 1 of The Land of the Lost. I haven’t seen nary a rerun anywhere in probably 20yrs of this quality Saturday morning TV program from back in the day. We watched the first 2 episodes. The first was how they met Cha-Ka. The second, and more highly anticipated, was the first appearance of the sinister and quite scary Sleestaks. Good entertainment. We went to Reeser’s for some soft serve ice cream and called it a night.

Today I met El Legend for a quick but hot-as-balls ride over to Cousin Calvin & Amy’s to meet our wives for a dip in their mega pool. That hit the spot. Thanks to them for having us. One month ‘til their Fest. Always fun.

Speaking of fests. Erin’s Uncle Jimmy took some pictures at our BBQ and sent them to us on a disc, which we received yesterday. Lots of good pics. Most of them funny. These are some of my favorites.

Your humble narrator workin my stainless steel Weber

Thotis, Seve, Oz, The Legend - badminton anyone?
Me pointing out The Wifey's beer belly, eerrrr.....Pregnant belly
I think I might be in a bit of trouble posting this one.....The Mrs Legend
Nicki, John, and Brother of John enjoy my hard efforts...The Mini-Patio

Enjoy the week. Stay cool.

Crickets

If I were to say to you, my loyal readers, I have absolutely nothing at all to say right now, would that mean that I just said something?

Instead I'll leave you with my favorite image from this past Sundays mega-couch/lounge. Priceless. Silly Frenchie. Or.............

My favorite image from the Drive-ins Saturday night. Enough.

Aloha

The Wifey and I hosted our 2nd Annual BBQ-Fest on Sunday. All went well. Thanks to all who attended. It seems like I never get to spend as much time with everyone while I’m too busy grilling up burgers, doggies, and hog-birds or just generally running around with zippy’s disease making sure everything is ok.

I did didley poo yesterday which is exactly how today is looking. I may get on Erin’s elliptical machine for an hour or so. I used it a week ago and sorta enjoyed it. I’d get on my bike but vicious rain is headed this way in short order. We did go out and get breakfast at Eat & Puke. My favorite breakfast joint, Zach’s Country Kitchen in New Cumberland, was closed so E & P it was. I’m never disappointed with E & P but you just always think you can do better at a mom & pop place. I had a scrambled eggs and bacon with a waffle covered with an apple cinnamon slurry. I have the worlds most sweetest sweet tooth but your standard syrups are just way too much. Good stuff.

We watched Le Tour finish. I thought those final hills would shed the sprinters more but credit Tornado Tom for getting over that last bump in the road and snagging yellow. Macho. An equally macho achievement was accomplished in the sports world today. Competitive eating is quality entertainment. 53.75!! Crazy.

We went to see The DaVinci Code last night with The Mr & Mrs Legend. Good flick. It was tough to keep up with all that’s thrown at you but I was entertained and stimulated just the same. I find theology fascinating. Part history. Part……well….fiction, I guess. Erin read the book and was happy with the movie. The only drawback was getting to say "hello" and "goodbye" to The Legends and not much else. The Wifey and I wanted to grab a beer at Coakley's but I guess old people need more sleep or something like that.

Speaking of reading books. Why is it that since I’ve been married I no longer read books but just lie on my ass and watch TV? I do ride way more now also but I’ll be damned if I haven’t read 2 books in 3 years. Maybe I should sell the ‘Ol 55er. Maybe being married has nothing to do with it and that giant TV has everything to do with it. I wonder what Erin would say if I asked her? My zippy’s disease comment earlier in this post is a reference to one of my favorite books. Road Fever. Cool book.

Thor hammering away right now. Late

Word of the Day

Collusion.

I rode home from work last night in a steady rain. I enjoy riding in the rain but I forgot my glasses so i basically powerwashed my eyes out with road grit. I got some serious eye-boogers this morning.

It finally stopped raining. Now my lawn will grow to mega lengths. I better mow it now.

Assuming no one else is thrown out of Le Tour my podium would consist of the "Son of Rudy", Basso, and a Disco, in that order. Floyd and Levi go 4th and 5th. Your thoughts?

Good day.

Got EPO?

Briefly. They’re all guilty. The whole lot of ‘em. Personally I couldn’t care less. Either they all do it or they all don’t. As long as it’s a level playing field. When you look at Lance specifically could you mark it down as possibly the largest marketing scam of all-time? Think about the money generated by this dude. The lives positively affected by what he’s accomplished. He’s got a huge stake in remaining innocent. Of course he’s going to refute any and every new report. The more you hear, the more you read, the worse it appears. Not that I feel his message is diminished a great deal after all he still was a high profile athlete that recovered from the brink to conquer all. All be it dirty(allegedly). How could you not draw inspiration from that? Maybe he had a chimera too, eh Tyler?

Speaking of playing field. I watched not one but two WC Soccer matches yesterday. Not much scoring but I’m hugely impressed by the athleticism and dexterity of these guys. Although the second half of Portugal V Holland was ridiculous I was still entertained.

Rains of biblical proportions continue to water my lawn. I like greenery. Beats scalding sunshine browning and burning the hell outta everything.

King of Queens is very funny.

Five days until a possible Lake float-cheap beer-bbq chicken-fireworks kinda day. Been a few years. I need to talk to BBP to check into that.

Six days until the Kessel BBQ-Fest. Hopefully we’ll have decent weather. Maybe a ride or four.

I’m done.

Bore

No desire to post anything today. I got outta bed. Finished the Patio Project. Then I cleaned out the garage to prep it for The BBQ-Fest. Made a run to The Salvation Army to donate some crap. Made a giant salad with steak and French fries in it. also made some krispie treats. Layed around and watched tv. Now I’m going to bed. At least it’s raining like hell. I like hearing rain fall. Makes me sleep well.

GOOOAAAALLLLL!!!!!!!!!

Last night we hit the drive-ins for the first time this year. First movie was Cars. One of those animated deals but it was pretty funny. Second movie was X-men. I can’t seem to get into X-men. We left halfway thru it when we both realized we had absolutely zero idea what the hell was going on. It was a pleasant evening to be lounging outside to watch a movie. Cooled off nicely.

I can’t say the same for today. Warning: I’m going to complain about PA weather again. Honestly? 98 degrees in Camp Hill today. What exactly gets accomplished in this kind of crap? I rode from 11-1 and felt like grim death. I drank 40oz of water before I left and 72oz more during the ride and it still wasn’t enough. At least when it’s 15 degrees outside I can at least layer and manage a decent ride. How exactly do you dress any cooler when it’s 98? I could just glue a chamois to my grundle and go naked. Somehow I think that wouldn’t fly either. I think I just don’t function well in this type of mungy weather.

So I get home and let The Wifey know I would be shutting it down for the rest of the day. She was ok with that but I did want to get some things done. I attempted to put my “Field of Dreams” together but I ran into a few broken and missing pieces so that’s on hold. Nothing like opening up the garage and throwing the B Boys on quite loudly for all the neighbors to enjoy as I rummage around looking for badminton parts. Those fellas are some bad-ass white boys.

Required viewing Monday evening. Game 7 of The Quest for Lord Stanley’s Cup. This is the last hockey you’ll get to see until October. Speaking of sports no one watches. I guess people do watch soccer but it can’t be much more than hockey. Anyway, I caught some World Cup this afternoon. This is t first extended chance I had to watch any of it. seems as though nothings changed. One team scores a goal and the other team doesn’t. game over. Or both teams don’t score at all and the game is…….over? And these little sissies get lightly rough up and they fall to the ground like they’ve been shot by a cannon. Writhing around crying like a girly-man. What makes it all so stupid is these twits are faking an injury so they can get the ball back or somehow gain an advantage. It is pretty cool when you actually see a goal. My conundrum was watching it in HD but listening to English speaking commentators or watching it on a non-HD channel with Spanish commentators who are MUCH more passionate about the game and freak out when a goal is scored. Great stuff.

Gotta go, The Animal is trying to eat my cookies. L8

235 grams

So I made it out for a bit over 90 minutes on my bike today. Still feeling the after effects of physical labor from Sunday. Last time I ever do that.

I received my new ‘cross wheels yesterday and threw ‘em on the TCX. Just with a wheel swap I knocked one half of a pound off. American Classic 350’s with Sapim spokes. 1291 grams per pair. Old wheels were Bonty Race X-Lites at 1526 grams. In full race mode the TCX should weigh under 17lbs. I still need to figure out which carbon bars I’m going to run which will knock another tenth off. Should be a pretty light little sled. Don’t know what that gets me but it’s got count for something, right?

Fantastic grilling this evening. Raspberry Walnut marinated Delmonico kabobs with red peppers and portabellas. Steamed Broccoli and asparagus. Roasted redskin potatoes seasoned with a little EVOO and lemon pepper. I also made some chicken for The Wifey as per her request. Erin’s parents came over for the grub. Good stuff.

The weekend looks warm. As in really freakin hot! Joy. Drive-ins Saturday night.

Whatever

Looks like a nice today. And lucky for me I’m off work. I put in that little patio last Sunday and spent the next 3 days hobbling like a cripple due to all the physical labor involved. I think I’m finally on the mend. Yesterday my back was so stiff I could barely bend over.

Geno’s revisited. I didn’t clarify my stand very well in my last post concerning the Geno’s ordeal. Obviously what’s going on is pretty controversial. Lots of undies have been bunched up in knots. And for what? I’m certainly not going to defend this guy for being a jerk. However, he OWNS the business. If he wants to be a douchebag to some of his customers, let him. Those customers then have a choice. Deal with it or leave and never go back and tell all his/her friends to never go there either, instead going to Geno’s competition and feeding that lucky businessman’s family. Better yet, go find a nice Spanish restaurant, order some Tapas or maybe some Paella, and feel cultured and enlightened.

I digress. We all have choices to make in life. As I said, Geno’s business is at stake when he acts like an a-hole. If enough people are turned off by these antics his business will be affected and he’ll either adjust his policy or suffer the consequences. Sink or swim. Why is this any of our concern? If Geno’s so offends you, and this is where my problems lies, don’t go there but don’t let it ruin your day either. All those non-english speaking customers are adults. They can make decisions on their own. We don’t need to make it for them. If you feel so horrible for those folks maybe you should go down there and give them a hug and make it all better for them.

If I were the King of Cheesesteaks the smart thing to do would be to hire a spanish speaking employee or two and watch the cash roll in. Sink or swim. My guess is that place is making money hand over fist right now thanks to all the free publicity you “offended” people have given it.

The times I’ve been to Vallarta or TJ or Ensenada or my favorite, Puerto Nuevo I’ve always made an attempt to speak the native tongue when ordering food(best fucking Lobster in the world!) out of respect. If I couldn’t get my point across I’d just point to a dog walking down the street and I’d get a fresh tortilla with some meat in it. Yum. My point being I at least made an attempt to speak Spanish. Usually the person I was speaking to spoke English and all was well. This is something I haven’t heard brought up in this whole Geno’s affair. Why can’t these fine non-english speaking folks from wherever show just a little respect and make an attempt at English? Maybe they are, I don’t know. Why is that offensive?

Enough already. Lobsters are now dancing in my head. Día bueno mis amigos.

Question of the Day

As stated in an earlier blog, we, at the cyclery, are quite progressive in our conversations throughout the day. Un-PC, mind you, but I feel we come up with some real interesting stuff. Interesting to whom? You decide.

Today’s most interesting topic was whether or not animals can be MR. And if they can be, is it possible for humans to detect it? How we came to this subject matter is probably best left for the flies on the wall. I googled the topic and found this page the most entertaining. The end result, however, seems to be inconclusive.

And while on the topic of PC. When do we, the collective un-PC'rs, draw a line in the sand and say "cross this line, YOU DO NOT!"

One Hundred

Any number of titles could have worked for this post. “Why I Didn’t Ride My Bike Today” or Why I Didn’t Go To Philly and Watch a Bike Race With Eric” or “Holy Shit! My Back is Killing Me”. But instead I paid homage to myself for making this my 100th blog entry. My 9th grade English Teacher, Mrs. Wolf, would be both flabbergasted and proud at the same instant if she knew I was able to pull off 100 entries considering I couldn’t manage to come up with bupkis in my graded daily journal back in the day.

So, why didn’t I ride today? Beautiful day, would’ve been nice. But, I had bigger fish to fry. There is a little patch of grass at our house that’s been bugging me from day one. I started doing something about it Thursday. Today, I finished it. Just to the right of our driveway between the carport and the garage was the ugliest rocky clump of dirt and half-dead grass you would ever see. So I threw a little patio in it’s place. Lots of digging. Heavy lifting. Sawing lumber. It’s a pretty amateur job but it looks a helluva lot better than it did before I started. I woke up at the crack of dawn and cruised over to Lowes for some goods. The heavy operations started around 10:30am and I worked straight through ‘til 4:00pm getting most everything done. I just have a couple small things left to call it complete but no big deal really. Now, I also have a place to throw the Chiminea Erin bought me for being her husband for 3yrs. Sweet.

My Patio Project (some of the bricks are still wet)

That’s why I didn’t ride. I guess I could’ve this evening but as I said, my freakin back is hammered. That’s also why I didn’t go to Philly to hang with Eric at the bicycle racing event. He had VIP access which would’ve been super-cool but I really wanted to get this little project knocked out. Sorry BBP. Maybe next year?

That’s all I have for now. I’m spanked. GOODNIGHTNOW!!!

Snowflakes and Fingerprints

So, what exactly does come up in conversation on any given day at Holmes Cyclery? Well, most of the time we’re discussing quantum physics, rocket science, Einstein, and solving various issues most people with normal IQ’s cannot grasp. Today, however, things moved in an atypical direction when VisitPA Ray boldly states “I can hear anyone in this room fart and tell you exactly who it was without seeing said farter”.

That’s when a curious little thought came up. Are there ever two farts alike? Serious food for thought. I do think Ray is accurate in that everyone has a certain, shall we say, fart signature. But two the same? These are the things that perplex our scholarly minds.

On a different note. Our boy KHam is heading down to NC to race at the NORBA this weekend. Good luck, Kyle. If things don’t work out for you on the mountainbike and you get tired of getting spanked by the likes of VisitPA Ray and friends, I think you definitely have a janitorial career to fall back on. Fabulous work cleaning the shop tonight. Seriously though, good luck.

Kyle works a mean sponge

More Gooder

The Wifey is down in Cape May this weekend hanging out with her parents at Uncle Willie’s condo. My quandary is this; The Sopranos finale is tonight. As crap as it’s been I still need to watch it. As much as Erin has bashed it in the past she sat there with me the past three months watching this dreck. Do I wait until she gets back and watch the replay mid-week? Or just be done with it tonight? I’ve got an hour to decide.

I love this weather. I believe it topped out at around 70 today but was mid to high 60’s all day. I just go better at this temp. Not just on my bike, but just in general. Who in the hell actually enjoys 90+ degrees besides the swimming pool builders?

I did a good hilly ride today. Constantly up and down. Felt great. I headed down past The Hebe’s neck of the woods just west of 83 and found yet more awesome backroads that get me down and over towards Dover and back.

‘Neckcar. Missed it. Not a single lap. Ho-hum.

VisitPA Ray layed a nice whompin’ on our boy KHam yesterday. Not a bad day for either. 2nd and 3rd. I can’t wait ‘til Ray emails me the race report which usually contains podium pictures in it. I wonder where that particular picture might end up tomorrow? Perhaps the Holmes Wall of Fame/Shame? Although in no way does it get any better than hearing both race reports in their presence at the same time. Hebe? You peddling drugs in our area tomorrow?

Kenny's got a conundrum.

Bob Mould – See a Little Light. Nice.

Dos de Junio

There are plenty of reasons why I love living in this great ‘ol country of ours. However, there is a growing list of reasons I’d be just as happy somewhere else. When shit like this happens I can only scratch my head. Silly. Where does it end? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not planning on picking up and heading south. But can you honestly tell me a story like that gives you a good feeling this country is headed in the right direction?

I’ve spent the day doing domestic chores for The Wifey. I have(had) every intention on getting on the bike but at this point the skies are threatening. No big deal I guess. With the humidity as high as it is right now I’d be drenched head to toe in sweat if I didn’t get rained on.

Hockey has still been quite thrilling the past few nights. Carolina v Edmonton in the finals. If you’re not a fan of either of those teams there is no way you can tell me anyone would have predicted them in the finals.

Phillies still suck.

I’ve got more crap to get done before The Boss gets home from work. Plus, I'm throwing together some quality Mex for dinner. We'll have some carne asada and carnitas fajitas with some homemade guacamole. Pretty much the best food ever. L8

I tell ya, Ray, Best Ride Ever

What a day. Erin’s grandparents were hosting a picnic this afternoon up in Thompsontown so as planned I wanted to ride up to enjoy the festivities. Get a ride in, work up an appetite, eat my ass off. Simple plan. Simple formula. The essential basis to why I ride a bike.

So I begin my journey into somewhat unknown territory. I had a choice right off the bat. Looking at a map, I knew I could cruise up thru Enola and hug the river north into Marysville (Home of Kuhn ‘Cross) and take Rt. 850 west out into the valley and then north again OR I could chop at least 6-8 miles off and instead go over Lamb’s Gap and catch 850 much further west. So, ride longer or climb a wall just 13 miles in. I’ve never climbed Lamb’s but knew from the years of mtb’ing up there what kind of climb it is. That’s the way I went. It went well. I’m not a big dude. I should be able to climb at least decently. I can’t. Nevertheless, I made it over the top and picked up 850. Not even two minutes later I find young Hammaker rolling east towards me. He turned around and joined me. Sweet! Company.

Good thing about having Kyle along at this point is his local knowledge of the roads in those parts. I’ve never ridden up Perry-way. He steered me clear of a road I was planning to take which would have been a steeper harder climb than the one we did instead. KHam stayed with me until we reached Newport. That was 40 miles in. Up until that point I have to say those back roads we rode were the smoothest most scenic roads I’ve ever ridden on. A good bit of up and down stuff but not near as much as I had expected.

Once in Newport I stopped for fresh agua fria and a Snickers Almond bar and hit the homestretch. Or so I thought. A quick 6 miles into Millerstown and the final climb I knew I’d be faced with. I knew it may be a dirt road in which case I might have to navigate around it and add 5-6 miles to the ride. At this point I’m at 46 and feeling the effects of 96 degree sunshine. 46 ain’t much really but add in the alpine nature of this ride and the heat and, yeah, I was feeling spent. And sure enough, it was a dirt road. I didn’t want to backtrack and add miles so I forged ahead. Dirt road. One mile. Straight up the mountain. Very little shade. The PowerTap info for this particular one mile stretch is rather comical. Not at the time, mind you, but much after the fact. 11 minutes. Avg power - 227. Avg HR - 176. Avg cadence - 46! Avg speed - 5.1 mph!!

After that little bastard it was cake the rest of the way in. In the end it was 56 miles. Three and a half hours total. For the next week or so I will be avoiding any road that has Gap, Hill, or Mountain in it's name. I've seen enough for the time being.

I won’t get into the ridiculous amount of food I ate. Too much to list.

On to the unveiling of The Wifey’s anniversary gift. I bought her one of these. She loves it. I think this covers her birthday and Xmas for this year and next. I’ll be accepting applications to work out at KAC (Kessel Athletic Center).

I’m sleepy. Goodnight.

Sunshine Daydream

As I sit here pecking away at the keyboard it couldn’t be a more beautiful day outside. I tidied up the garage this morning. I need to get some junk together for an inventory reduction sale on ebay. Then I got out for a couple hours on the road sled. I haven’t ridden all week beyond commuting so I was prepared to feel like poo. I did. And I just got done walking circles in my yard mowing the grass. Quite a day so far.

And yet I can’t seem to feel a little bummed. I get this way occasionally. Why? I’m homesick. Or maybe a better way to say is I'm awaysick. A couple nights ago I caught a show on TV that featured SD. I’ve visited there many many times. I have a good friend, Glen, who lives there with his fantastic wife Lupe. I think the first time I visited was back in ’98. Probably half a dozen times since then. I never get sick of it. I ALWAYS miss it. I was a fingernail from moving there in late ’00. Why not, you ask? I had met The Future Mrs. Kessel just months prior to my trip out just before Xmas that year and hit it off real well with her so I became hesitant to make the move. In retrospect it was the right thing to do because fast-forward to present and you’ll find me celebrating 3yrs of wedded bliss in a few short days.

That doesn’t make the tug I feel from the land of perpetual 70 degree sunshine go away. Henceforth, my melancholy. I’ll get over it. I always do.
Speaking of The Wifey, she loved her anniversary gift. As I said before I tend to go a little overboard when it comes to gift giving to Erin. She hooted slightly. I think she showed more emotion yesterday receiving her gift than she did the day we tied the knot.

We watched King Kong last night. Crap. Not even worth the $3 rental fee. It’s so cliché, and I love clichés, but the original was never made better. Not the 70’s version. I’m talking the version from ’33. Watch that one if you can and you’ll see what I mean.

The hammock beckons. Good day.

ouch

For one reason or another I’ve just put in 3 straight ten hour days at work. I’m pooped. Yesterday I delivered a gym to a detention center over in Harrisburg. Hburg is not that sketchy of a place with the exception of a neighborhood here and there. I was borderline sketchy yesterday. All was good, however. This place was a half-way house for cons. It was explained to me that most of them are mandatory drug sentence convicts but they do get their share of more violent cases.

As soon as I walked in one of the old-timers pulled me aside to make sure I was very aware of where I was and the potentially explosive situation I was in. I think he was more keen on impressing me with how “brave” he was to work in such a dangerous environment for over 20 years. Truth of the matter is every “resident” I came in contact with, as they are not locked down, was polite and respectful and mannerly. Maybe it was because I was installing a new toy for them, I don’t know. I did manage to smash the shit out of my right middle finger like a dumb ass.

I picked up Erin’s anniversary gift. Now I just have to figure out when and how to unveil it. As usual, I’m pretty sure she has no idea what I’ve gotten her.

The Phillies suck.

I’m planning on riding up to Erin’s grandparents on Monday for their Memorial Day picnic. They live in Thompsontown which is roughly 40 miles by car up 322 towards Happy Valley. Of course I won’t be taking the highway so I’m thinking I might be looking at more like 55-60 miles or so. A few hills to mix it up. It should be a real nice ride. Especially when I’m done and more tastey picnic morsels await me. Temps in the mid-80’s should make it a little interesting considering it really hasn’t been that warm in a long while.

Otherwise, I’m looking at a lot of R&R this weekend. A little work around the house. A few rides. I’m sure we’ll be doing our own grillin’. Fun.

I caught this brief little news story on cyclingnews a couple days ago and found it funny. I'm sure most have seen it but I know some who read this are not cyclingnews.com junkies so I'll just copy and paste it and here it is. Enjoy.

Water-carriers battle in the Giro

Cycling is traditionally divided into stars and water-carriers and while battle rages at the top of the Giro d'Italia rankings between stars such as Ivan Basso, José Gutierrez and Paolo Savoldelli, a literal contest among water-carriers has been going on further back.

According to La Gazzetta dello Sport Quick-Step's José Antonio Garrido recently set a new record by carrying 16 water bottles simultaneously from the team car to his team-mates. With one bottle in his mouth, two in the cages on the bike, two in his pockets, six under the front of his jersey, and five under the back, Garrido lugged over five litres of water to his team-mates.
In yesterday's stage, Fabio Sacchi (Milram) beat Garrido's record by carrying 18 water bottles simultaneously, but Garrido thinks he can beat the Italian. "I've already done a test, and think I can manage 20 bottles," he said.

There's more than just bragging rights at stake too. At the end of the Giro on Sunday, Italian cycling legend Francesco Moser will present a prize to the man who manages to carry the most bottles: a bottle of wine for each of the bottles carried. "It will be a kind of miracle: water will be turned into wine!" said Moser.

Clean Underwear

Wow! It’s windy outside today. I ventured down to the armpit of PA today to catch a little bicycle racing. It’s only 25 minutes from my house so why not? I can throw some support for The Legend. Too bad this race has to be one of the most boring unspectacular business park races a person could ever attend. If not for the raging headwind blowing into the riders faces as they made their way up the finishing frontstretch I’m pretty sure I would have slipped right into a nap after two laps. With all the wind it at least held my attention for approx 6-8 laps before I packed it in. I don’t know how these guys don’t fall asleep racing this course. I have zero experience at road racing so maybe it’s a tactics/strategy rush that keeps them interested. Beats me. Regardless, I have huge respect for these dudes. The wind was gusting up to 30-35mph and they were still fast as shit up this grinder of a hill through the start/finish. When I left there were at least 3, maybe 4 groups splintered all over the road. Whatever.

I did hang with Kenny down at the race today. He just got back from a trip to Cali with his fiancé. That’s right. You heard me. Fiancé. Way to go Kenny. Congrats.

I wonder if KHam spanked VisitPA Ray today as planned. He claimed he was going to give Ray a rip-down at the Guy’s MTB race in Philly. Of course Ray had other plans.

Last night our friends Deb & Chuck had their annual picnic/barbecue fest. I wanted to get a ride in yesterday so I rode down to their place from work so I could lather up a good appetite. I was blasted by a healthy headwind until I got to Whiskey Springs at which time I made a real go at making some good time up the climb. It’s almost 3 miles from bottom to top but it’s broken up in spots with some rollers so it’s never a total grind. In fact it’s only steep in one section somewhere in the middle but, nevertheless, you’re ascending a majority of the time. I felt pretty good. Far from anyone’s record but still faster than I’ve ever gotten over the top. The beauty of my PowerTap software is I’m able to download the total ride and single out any part of the ride I want and gather vital info from it. The most encouraging hunk of info was not the time nor the watts but the fact that I was able to average 92rpms from bottom to top. I never bogged down. I just found a tempo and kept on going. I stayed on top of whatever gear I was in. To me, that’s always a sign I’m headed in the right direction. Oh yeah, I ate 2 hamburgers, two hot dogs, two helpings of pasta salad, two deviled eggs, two peanut butter fudge brownie bricks, a handful of bbq chips, and my first non-diet soda beverage in years. Seve was working a mean grill.

I was reading the latest copy of Bicycle Retailer the other day at work. It’s a good read for industry insiders with a wealth of info on who’s doing what and what’s coming down the pike and general BS like that. Two things caught my eye. A little paragraph on Luxxy’s new bike shop. Good luck. A real quick bike shop joke. Q: What’s the quickest way to make a million in the bike industry? A: Start with two million. I’m sure he’ll do well. The other thing that caught my eye was an article on an employee of FSA, named Brad Lewis, who’s worked in the bike business for years. 37yrs old. Races road, ‘cross, and mtb’s. Very well it sounds. He was doing a crit a little while back and a few laps in fell over dead. Freakin dead. The article mentioned the autopsy showed he had heart disease. Still, 37, and bang! You’re gone. Mortality sucks.

Later in the week a nasty auto accident nearby killed an innocent woman who’s only issue was being in the wrong place at the wrong time. A dickweed trucker who was “distracted” rammed into a line of stopped highway traffic. 8 demolished vehicles, big fire, and one instantly killed motorist. Just like that. You want more? One of The Legend and The Mrs Legend’s good friends father unexpectedly dies of a heart attack a couple days ago. Here today, gone tomorrow. I hate coming off so dreary here but there is a point to all this. As much as I love to loaf on the coach and watch TV, why not treat every day as if it’s your last. I forget who gets credit for that quote. Churchill? Fields? Benny Hill? Not sure. And believe me, I’m not preaching here, because I’m as guilty as anyone at putting things off.

On a lighter note, The Wifey made some fine grub for dinner. Salmon, rice, and spinach. Yum.

Looks like the mid-80’s by the end of the week. Just in time for a three-day weekend. That works. Sayonara.

empty

The new floors look great

I have writers block today. I feel like I should blog about something. Topic? Dunno. I got soakinfreakinwet today on my ride. For roughly five minutes it rained so hard if I were in a car I might have considered pulling over and waiting for a bit. Heavy rain drops too. Stung. Felt like it could have been hail (which was in the forecast) but I think it was just big ass rain drops. It was fun though.

For those of you who don’t know I’m a Bike Shop Tool(emphasis on Tool) at Holmes Cyclery. I am honored to work with two of the fastest mountainbikers in the mid-Atlantic not named Chris Eatough. VisitPA Ray and Kyle Hammaker(KHam). They both are well aware of the joy they provide us insiders at Holmes with their friendly rivalry. Especially myself and The Legend. I’m a world class button pusher. Some might call me a dick. I just love pushing buttons. I strategically throw out a comment and watch with glee as Ray tells Kyle what’s up and who The Champ is. Kyle, roughly ten years younger than Ray, is a true sport and dishes the shit right back Ray’s direction. It’s real fun. Then Hebe walks in and it all starts over again. Beautiful. So, The Legend and I have devised a season long “stage race” scenario for Ray and Kyle. Any mtb race in which both line up for the same race with the same start time will be fair game. Win or lose the time gap between the two will accumulate throughout the season. We have one dilemma. How should a DNF be factored in? I know most who read this blog are cyclists. Hebe and I need your input. How can we best come up with a solution for this friendly competition? Email me at dlkessel@verizon.net. Our entertainment is at stake here. At the end of the season there will be a winner and a loser. Special recognition will be given to both.

Latest illegal downloads via Limewire. Killing Joke and X.

Yours truly, Grumpy.

Assault on a Friendly Weapon

Sorry for the delay. A week ago we moved every shred of our lives from the first floor of our house into the garage or the basement to prepare for our hardwood floors to be refinished. That included the pc and all the wires, cables, modems, routers, and crap attached to it. I have the lapper but I just had no desire to hook shit up in the basement just so I could surf. It was sorta nice to be unplugged for a week. I had to rely on SportsCenter to keep up on current events. Like the old days(Kenny Mayne was F-ing great!). Now that we’re plugged back in, well, that’s sorta nice too.

The floor guy did a helluva job. Monday he came in and sanded and applied the first coat of finish. Tuesday and Wednesday he applied the second and third coats. Because we only have one bathroom and it was uninhabitable for most of the week Erin decided to stay with her parents a few miles away in New Cumberland. What do I care, I just pissed behind the garage and took showers in NC at night and slept here in the basement all week. No big deal. So, in the end I was a little uptight about spending a wad of money getting the floors redone but now that I see the end result I couldn’t be more happy. It’s like a new floor was put in.

Saturday my Mom, Sis, and little nephew DJ, along with Erin’s parents, and the best friend any guy could ever have joined me and The Wifey in moving all our crap back into the house. Then we grilled some cow and chicken. Yum.

Today was just a crap day. I put on the chamois at high noon anticipating a ride only to be followed a minute later by a house rumbling crack of thunder and a downpour. So I him-hawed for an hour on starting a ride…..or not. Erin’s bro was leaving for Taiwan around three and I wanted to stop by to wish him luck so I finally started a ride at 1:30 and made it to Erin’s parents by 3 to send him off. He’s going to be teaching English to Taiwanese folks. I think he’s commited to at least a year. That’s a long time in a place as far away as Taiwan. Gutsy thing to do in my mind. Should be a good experience.

The Sopranos tonight. As much of a fan as I am, I have to confess this seasons episodes have been an utter disappointment. I keep thinking to myself “I waited two years for this shit?”. Seriously, what a bunch of crap. Vito the fag on the lam, Christopher in Hollywood with Ben Kingsley, that whole Kevin Finnerty thing with Tony that drug on for three weeks, Artie serving a rabbit to customers. Honestly, a bunch of shit. The only mildly entertaining character has been Paulie. Three more weeks to right what has been a major wrong thus far. I won’t be holding my breath.

Erin is off on another teaching trip Monday and Tuesday nights so I suppose........well, I guess.........nevermind.

No mas

The streak is over. I went back and checked the records and found that I last purchased gas January 21st which was a Saturday. It was posted to my checking account(debit card) on Jan 23rd. So, add it up from then ‘til today you get 103 days. As it’s always said when a streak ends; time to start a new one.

I had a busy morning. Well, busy by my standards. I’ll be the first to admit that I typically don’t do shit on my days off. Clean Elwood’s shit box. Maybe start some laundry. I usually mow the lawn on Sundays. I pretty much monkey around in my playroom (garage) and then go out for a ride. Then I wait for The Wifey to get home and figure out what’s going down for dinner. Today I went to the grocery store, bought gas, and stopped by Highland Gardens for a scoop of mulch for the homestead. All this before 10AM.

I could have used all that busyness as an excuse for a nap but instead I rolled out for a 3hr+ ride. Good ride. Mostly small ring spinner type stuff. I was really gripping hard the last 30 minutes. I’m still unhappy with my seat situation. About 4 miles from home I was unexpectedly doused from behind with water. My exact words were WTF?! Only to find a smiling Legend right behind me holding a now empty water bottle in his hand. It was warm today. Once I got over the initial WTF moment the water dousing felt really good. I was tempted to jump in the Yellow Breeches for a nice cool down. 56 miles total. Longest ride I’ve done in a long time.

This week has been a good one in terms of free goodies. Monday some lady dropped off a dozen donuts at Holmes. I think we gave her an empty bike box which to us is just trash but to her was worth at least $3 in donuts. Mmmmmm donuts. Monday I also received the latest in VisitPA.com Mountainbike team fashionwear. A nice bright shiny new T-shirt. Thanks VisitPA Ray! It gets better. Tuesday my favorite little punk KHam throws me a awesome new pair of Trek/VW socks. Black and red, high cuffed and super comfy. Thanks Kyle! Not to be outdone. Tuesday afternoon The Legend blows everyones generosity out of the water by showing up with about a dozen sandwiches and a GINORMOUS chicken breast salad from Panera. He fed most of us at Holmes for two days with that nice little visit. Seems a Doctors office he visits down in Hangover double booked a lunch so he had to do something with all that fantastic grub. Thanks Mike!

I just got word that our floors are being sanded and refinished starting next Monday thru Wednesday. That’s cool. What sucks is that means I need to move all of our shit out of the house by Sunday night. I hate moving shit. Hate it. Next time I move I’m paying someone else to do it. These floors will look like a million bucks once they’re refinished.

I’ve been hearing a lot of The The on Fred the past couple weeks. Show of hands…..who can name me any two songs by The The? I couldn’t. I definitely have heard a few of them before but just another case of one of those bands that gets overlooked but really kicks ass.

Flyers are done for the season. They got Buffalo’d pretty bad. Should be interesting to see what comes of all the big hulking but very slow defense that got them into deep shit most of the season. At least the Sillies are playing a little better lately. Now that I’ve said that I won’t even turn the game on tonight. I just said something positive about them, which most assuredly means I just jinxed them to a week of losing.

I lounged on my hammock tonight for about 30 pleasant minutes while reading the most recent issue of Bike Culture (formerly The Ride). Decent little mag. I could have fallen asleep if not for my post ride stank I have working. I guess it’s time to clean myself up a bit. The Wifey is giving me that look.

Until next time.

Wanted: Bad-ass Minivan

About 6 weeks ago I scheduled to not work this past Saturday. Erin and I were going to rip out the carpets in our house and eventually get someone in here to refinish the hardwood floors. Well, we got impatient and actually ripped ‘em out last weekend. So, with nothing really too strenuous planned for this weekend, I kinda got a fell for how normal people live. I always get a day off during the week, usually Thursdays, and work Saturdays. Unless I have some special thing going on like a wedding or a trip somewhere it’s just a given you can find me at work from 10-5 on a Saturday. That’s why having a Saturday off with nothing to do or nowhere to go was so weird. I hate to admit it but it was nice.

We went dirt-trackin Friday night. Never a dull moment at the dirt track. To keep a long story short I have two words for you: minivan racing. Yep, among the sprint cars and late models and street stocks they had a 10 lap minivan race. Let me tell you it was f-ing funny/bad-ass wrapped into one. The track had to put a man made chicane on the front stretch just so these minivans wouldn’t carry too much speed into the turns and most certainly roll as a result. It didn't stop one dude from flipping his Caravan about 6-8 times...........on the front stretch.........while leading. Pretty fun stuff. Oh yeah, on Thursday nights they race school buses at Susqy. And I’m not talking about the short buses most of you took to school. I’m talking full length non-‘tard buses. That must be quite a sight.

I got out for 2.5hrs of cycling bliss both days this weekend. Awesome weather for a little saddle time. I finished up April with more YTD miles to this point than any time in my cycling days. And that’s taking into account the 6 weeks or so I was off my roadie from late Jan to Mid March.

The Wifey made some good grub this morning. Baked French toast. I’m sure there was at least a stick of butter in it but damn was it good. Saturday we grilled some pork tenderloins with some homemade mashed potatoes and sauerkraut on the side. Friday we went to KClingers before the races. I’m never disappointed with the food at that place nor the service or beverage selection but it seems like we never go there. It’s gotta be no more than 5 miles from our place. I need to get there more often. Great place to visit if you’re a beer drinker.

I put together the hammock on Saturday and got some quality lounging in both days. Erin fell asleep in it this afternoon. I wish I had my digital camera handy to snap a pic or two of her snoring away working up a good nap drool. It's not hard to get sleepy real fast on that thing. Next I have to work on getting the badmitton court up and rolling. I think we're going throw another BBQ here at the Casa de Kessel in July. Invitations are forthcoming.

Elwood

Elmer is full of energy this morning. He is a rather needy little animal. He demands attention. His favorite game is to play fetch. When we open a new gallon of milk there is that plastic ring from the lid that Elwood loves to chase and bring back for more. We have spent 30 minutes already playing this game. I think we get tired before the little monkey does. He also loves to play hide & seek. We will hide and he'll try to find us and then we'll jump out and chase him around and do it all over. He's quite a fun kitty. The best gift I've ever received.

Kenny's Report. A fresh persective. Check it out. dk

Mooo

The Wifey hosted a small AI party tonight. Her friend Nicki and husband John came over to watch the edge-of-your-seat excitement. Sorry for your loss Hebe. I’m sad to see her go too. As infrequent as I accidentally watch AI, it was always nice to see a hot blondie with her rack hanging out. Look at it this way, the sooner she gets booted off, the sooner she ends up in a quality men’s magazine baring her goods. Stay tuned.

People have dreams. Various dreams. Some big. Some small. Some in the middle. Lately the idea has popped into my head that I need to travel the country and experience the sights and sounds of hockey in every city with an NHL team. Maybe have some dumb corporate sponsor pay for my trip as I document my experiences on this silly little blog. Something as simple as the horn teams use after a goal is scored. Who’s is the best. Some are single blasts of an air horn. Some, two or three blasts. Some are high pitched and some are real low. My preference is to hear a low pitched horn either one long blast or three shorter ones. If my memory serves correct I think St Louis has one of the better ones. Colorado has a good three blast horn. The Flyers changed theirs mid-season this year. I’m not a fan. It’s not quite low enough and nowhere near long enough. I think there needs to be an expert or consultant to the teams of Hockey who can tailor the home team horn to best suit the wishes of the fans. I think I can be that person. I will retire my post as a Bike Shop Tool and become a Hockey Horn Consultant. I think I’ll run this by The Wifey in the morning.

Friday night we’re going to Susqy Speedway for some serious red-neck fun. It ain’t racin’ ‘nless there’s dirt in yer beer. Speaking of sights and sounds at a sporting event. There’s plenty for your senses at the dirt track. There’s nothing quite like the smell of exhausted race fuel. Pretty addictive stuff. My friend Zach is a race car driver. He’s got a set of stones, let me tell you. I think it takes a special character to set foot on that kind of race track. Should be fun.

This gas situation is really interesting. People are getting pretty hyper about $3 a gallon. They are pissed that oil companies are hitting record profits. Last time I checked, one gallon of milk is roughly the same price as one gallon of gas. Milk. From the cow just down the street. Why aren’t people bitching about the high cost of milk? And speaking of companies making a profit. Since when was making a profit a crime? I don’t know too many businesses that aren’t looking to make a little money. You’re not around very long if you don’t. I think I’ll go to the grocery store tomorrow and explain that I’m having a tough time making ends meet this week so the price they’re charging for mangos is a little steep. Bananas too. Can you sell them to me at a lower price? I’d like to buy a few steaks as well. But I think you’re charging too much. Can you lower the price some? Hey man, I’m hungry. How dare you make money when I’m hungry. I dunno. If you think it’s too much to spend for gas use less of it. Figure something else out. Of course it’s easy for me to say. I rarely drive.

I do drink plenty of cow juice though. Yum.

Short naps are better

If it weren’t such a necessary thing I would never sleep. I hate sleeping. Some would argue with me that sitting in front of my 55” watching hockey is a waste of time. Maybe for you it is. But, I find there is no bigger waste of time than sleeping. In fact I get downright ornery if I sleep one minute more than I have to. Pisses me off.

It sure turned into a nice day after the rain stopped this morning. I usually like to get a ride started before noon but the weather pushed that back to 1:00. It was still wet when I got under way and I only carried one large bottle of water thinking I’d only do an hour to an hour and a half. Twenty minutes in I could see breaks in the clouds and a ray of sunshine here and there so I decided not to cut it short and go longer. I cruised out to the fabled Col du Whiskey Springs, where I knew I could fill my bottle at the spring, and then back home. I’m glad I added the extra hour because it turned out to be my best ride of the year so far. I felt great. The weather was great. Perfect temp for a ride if you ask me. 65.

Today marks another milestone in my plight against petroleum. I have now reached a full three months since I last filled my truck. I figure I have about 75-80 miles of gas left in the tank so I should easily make it to 100 days. I think my previous record was around 60 days but we had such a pleasant (read: NO SNOW!) spring I was able to commute a lot. In fact, I’m way ahead of last years commuting miles and I should hit 1000 road bike miles a full two weeks ahead of last year. Another week should get me there.

I’ve already found playoff hockey nirvana. First two nights and I watched three overtime games. That doesn’t suck. What does suck is last nights OT game was a Flyers loss. They looked good though. I think they’ll be ok. Just another fan of a Philly sports team. I know, I’m a sucker for the Phillies and Flyers. Year after year another broken hearted sucker.

Yesterday was the first MASS mtb race. I imagine the conditions were pretty much crap. Some guys love crap. Some guys excel in crap. It’s an advantage if you can show up when it’s 45 degrees and pouring rain and you’re happy about it. Mental. I always enjoy reading FatMarc's blog and he had an interesting story from yesterdays race. Man, that sucks. Anyway, looks like VisitPA Ray had an ok race. He finished 5th but had brake issues that forced him to run descents. Might have had a better placing otherwise. Our boy KHam was 10th or 11th and also had tech issues. Can’t wait to here the smack tomorrow at Holmes. The rest of the VisitPA boys had a good day. That’s a strong team they have. Not sure if anyone did Michaux today. Two straight wet muddy days in the woods is tough. No thanks, I’ll stick with my ’crosser.

Aaahhh summer is just around the corner. Hammock time. Warm up your phone Mrs Legend.

Finding Perspective

A few years ago a big guy came into the shop looking for a road bike. By big guy, I mean 6’ 350lbs big. His name is Frank. Initially, I didn’t want to sell him a roadie. I tried to get him on a hybrid. No way a roadie was going to hold up under Frank’s size. He was very polite but insisted on buying a road bike. He wanted to get into tri’s but in general just wanted to get fit. Ok, lets do it. I set him up with a Giant OCR2. Ended up working out well for Frank. He put some miles in. Dropped some lbs. Did some competitions. He really picked up a passion for it. So much so he convinced his wife to go the same route. He bought her a bike a few months later. He visits the shop a lot. He’s a very loyal customer. At times he had every opportunity to do business with another store but stayed true to Holmes. Good guy. I like Frank. Everyone at Holmes likes Frank.

Yesterday he came in to purchase a new tri bike. A Trek this time. I took charge of sizing him and getting him fit to his new rig. The whole process takes roughly an hour, give or take. Cleat position, seat height, seat fore and aft, stem rise and length. A breeze. We chit chatted about riding and what he was planning to do this summer. A few competitions, a few charity rides and then seemingly out of nowhere, bang! Frank tells me his wife passed away a few weeks ago. Shit. Leukemia. I remembered hearing she was sick but I honestly don’t recall it being serious. I felt crushed. As bad as I felt, I know isn’t even close to how he feels right now. Frank’s resolve now is to raise awareness and funds in an effort to fight the disease that took his wife. Makes sense.

So, Frank and I shifted gears because I know I didn’t want to dwell on it and I’m sure he didn’t either. We wrapped it up talking about how exciting this year Tour should be. Who will win. Podium. American hopefuls. Frank paid for his new bike and went home. He’ll pick his new bike up today. And I just can’t possibly imagine what my life would be like without the most fantastic wifey of ‘em all, Erin. Hug your loved one. Do it for Frank. Do it for me. Do it for yourself.

On to sunnier topics. The hockey regular season wrapped up last night. We hockey fans, all six of us, patiently and loyally watch from October to April just to get to this point. Playoff Hockey. Man are there ever some great first round match-ups. Unfortunately, the Flyers have a tough opponent and as much as I hate to say it look poised for an early exit. Buffalo has played them hard all year. Out West, Detroit looks like the cream of the crop although have seriously shit the bed in the playoffs the past few years. Dallas is also good. The hottest team has been San Jose and would be a good sleeper pick. Playoff Hockey is all about goaltending. Lots of teams have untested goalies. Therefore, Ottawa won’t do shit without The Dominator. Rookie goaltender. Carolina was good all year but…..untested netminder. By far the hottest team in the East has been the NJ Devils. They have maybe the best goalie ever, Martin Brodeur. Hard not to pick them. Whatever the case, it all starts Friday night. Predictions? Not really a stretch, Red Wings over the Devils in 6. Watch it you hosers.

House is the best show on TV not named CSI. Actually, I think I look forward to House moreso than CSI anymore. It’s a good serious medical show with a fare amount of one-liners to keep it amusing at the same time. Last night was no exception. I was giggling about the “six-foot hose up your ass” comment for at least 10 minutes. Hebe and I have talked at the water cooler about what shows get away with when it comes to those quick witty little one-liners. How much of that stuff slips through the cracks. The double-entendre. Priceless.

High-ho, high-ho, off to work I go. Payday. Sweet. Late.

Grub

I hope everyone is enjoying some fine grub today. Afterall, isn’t that what holidays are about? Cram as much quality foods in your pie hole as the belly will allow, then just a little bit more for good measure.

A few observations on my ride today. I wonder how many people that fought for a parking spot today at their respective church compounds are visiting for the first time since xmas? Judging by all the dicknoses double-parked on the streets, I’d have to say a bunch.

Roadies, in general, never wave hello when passing by. In contrast, if you ever come across a mtb’r in the woods it’s party time bro. Dude, bust out the hippie lettuce! Why are roadies such douchebags? I’m not saying all of ‘em but, yes, a good majority of ‘em. I wave to everyone. I don’t care. I’m happy when I’m on my road sled. Spread the joy I say. Even the assclown on his $300 Diamond Back rig he bought at Dick’s refuses to acknowledge anyone. Is it elite-ism? WTF? I do see a World Cup dude with very good posture(straight back) who always waves. He’s probably happy when he rides too. I’m not going to make it my life’s work to get all roadies to start waving hello. Just a curiosity.

I finally did a workout today to figure out some power numbers at which training will be based. I was unsure of what to expect out of this workout but I wasn’t expecting to be as whipped as I was afterward. A 45min warm-up then 1min full gas 10min rest 5min full gas 10min rest 1min full gas 5min rest 1min full gas 2min rest 15sec full gas 2min rest 15sec full gas cool down. Spanked me good. The last couple efforts had me cross-eyed a bit. Ended up with around 45 miles or so. Good ride in general. I certainly don’t miss doing interval type workouts like I do before ’cross season but all in the name of being faster, right?

Off to Erin’s rents for some dinner. Steak, I think. No ham here.

Out.

The Grundle

We saw plenty of this last night

Last night was Em’s big 21st b-day. Too bad I missed the dinner portion of the festivities at Benihanas. Emily’s family (The Wifey, brother John, and parents) along with Uncle Willie & Susan and Uncle Jimmie & date made the trip. Apparently, besides missing out on some killer sushi, my Father-in-law instructed Uncle Jimmies date on proper chop-stick methodology which did not involve breaking the two sticks apart. From what I understand this poor woman was eating food all night with unbroken chop-sticks much to the delight of all in attendance. Anyway, on to the more important events of the night. Boozing.

I left work and went straight to Coakley’s to bend the ‘ol elbow for a couple before the gang showed up. Kenny joined me shortly thereafter. Once Emily showed up we started feeding her as much adult beverage as the stinkin waitress hag would allow. Nothing nasty. A good steady mix of shots, beer, mixed drinks. But that freaking waitress hag just wasn’t with the program. I honestly don’t know if the wait staff is told to not overly intoxicate any bar patrons or what but more than a couple times I had to go hunt down this chick to get us more booze. We stayed until midnight but because the waitress was a ‘tard I don’t think anyone was hammered except for John. It’s funny to watch what happens to some people when they get a little tipsy. John, at that point when the achohol see-saw drops the other direction, loves to F-bomb in the loudest Williams voice he can muster. Funny. So we left at high midnight. Emily and her friend Danielle cruised over to Gullifty’s for more fun but I had to get The Wifey home so she could ready herself for a 6AM alarm clock. I think everyone had fun. I hope Em did at least.

Fun was had by all

Today I got started on my ride a little earlier than usual for my day off. Don’t know why. Whatever the case, once I got going I couldn’t have been more uninspired, unenthused, or unmotivated. It took me 60 minutes to feel any sort of spark. Not that I felt tired. Just didn’t have any get-up-and-go. If you saw the picture of my road sled from a couple posts ago you might have noticed a rather weary looking Flite saddle. Sucker is 10yrs old. Love the little bastard. But I think wore out about 3yrs ago and it’s taken me this long to replace it. Any decent cyclist will tell you finding the right seat is not easy. I put a WTB on my sled Tuesday and got two good rides in before today. Felt good. Not spectacular but it felt keepable. Today, a whole nuther story. From about mile 3 on that seat was killing my grundle. Abusive. Maybe that’s why I couldn’t get going. All I know is that saddle is not going to do the trick. Which sucks because now I have to try something else. The great unknown.

If I get a ride in tomorrow before work and Saturday before work I’ll be real close to a 200 mile week. Never did that before. Funny thing is today once I finally did get moving I didn’t want to stop but The Grundle was protesting quite a bit.

I wanted to bust out the hammock today because it is abso-freakin-lutely beautiful outside. However, the radar shows some storms on the way and tomorrow looks wet so I guess I’ll wait. Also looks like I’m mowing the grass Sunday. Aaaah, the joys of spring.

We had the annual employee reviews yesterday. Pretty much involves a little pow-wow in the back office with El Jefe. A little back and forth dialog on improving this, that, and the other thing. Make sure everyone is on the same page. Yes, yes, yes. Here’s your raise. Thanks. Hand-shake. Meetings over. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Never, in my wildest dreams, did I ever think I’d get paid what I do to toil at something I love, the bicycle. Are you kidding me? now don’t assume it’s all fun and games at Holmes Cyclery. Work does get done. I usually am pretty wiped out at the end of the day. But, yep, there is plenty fun and games too. I would not hesitate to say I’m pretty lucky.

Jane’s Addiction – Trip Away. Fred. Nice.

Carl Spackler

I lounge here in my basement deciding which HD sports event to watch. Nascar? No. Baseball? Not yet. Basketball? You’re kidding me, right? No, actually what’s garnered my attention is The Masters. This crowd has gone deadly silent, a Cinderella story outta nowhere. Former greenskeeper and now about to become The Masters champion. It is borderline ridiculous how beautiful this picture is. The competition is tight right now. Pretty gripping stuff. I just watched some dude hit it into the water not once but twice on consecutive shots. He took a 10 on the hole. That’s the kind of shit I love to see. Takes me back to the days when The Legend and I would hack up a golf course a few times a year. Good times. Nowadays neither of us play. In fact I believe Hebe tossed his sticks into the trash a few years ago. Last time I played, at Crink's Bachelor Party/Golf outing, I refused to even keep score. It ain’t worth my sanity. Hell, I remember even further back in the day, Big Hink was semi-retired and I was attempting and failing to become an educated man, we'd play a couple times a week. I think we actually got pretty good, didn't we Hink? Anyway, The Masters course in Augusta, Georgia looks like the most amazing place you could ever want to play a round. I think you need a serious hook-up to even think about playing there.

I put in my first 50 miler today. I wanted to do a few sprints/intervals to give me some more data to base my training/fitness on but I just never warmed up or felt comfortable to really open it up today. At 11am when I started my ride it was only 42 outside. I don’t think it ever got above 50 until I was nearly done. So, rather than my planned workout, I settled into a nice endurance paced ride and just kept on going. Fuel? I mixed three ounces of Clif Shot with three ounces of agua into a little plastic flask and downed that midway. Worked pretty well. I definitely didn’t run out of gas. My legs started to protest a bit towards the end but not too bad.

Wow, did the Disco boys ever have a rollercoaster kind of day! With less than 50k’s to go they had three in a 12(+-) man break. Big George snapped a steerer tube(rest assured, Trek is shitting their pants over this) his day is done. That's not something you'd hope for. He no doubt would have been podium before that bit of misfortune. Leif and Vlad get Dq’d after finishing 2nd and 4th for failing to stop at a railroad crossing(????). Nutty stuff.

VisitPARay is out at Sea Otter this weekend. Looks like he nailed a 4th in the Semi-pro Short track. Dude is freakin fast. KHam dropped out of some dog race in NJ. I wonder how the smack will go when Ray and Kyle work together again? Only just the beginning of what should be wonderfully competitive banter between these two. The Legend adds fuel to the fire as much as possible. Fun.

Emily turns 21 Wednesday. Stay tuned for details on where the celebration goes down.

Steel is.........

Real. I put my old LeMond MJ together while my Tete is getting refinished at Trek. This is the old MJ. 853 Steel. I really enjoyed this bike the first go around. Don’t get me wrong, I love the Tete. But holy shit, what a smooth ride steel is. You hear it all the time. Steel is real. Believe it. Now if someone can make me a steel frame that weighs 2.5 pounds we’re in business. Today’s ride really has me second guessing my next move as for replacing the Tete. Maybe I’ll just stay on the MJ and see what’s on the horizon in all-steel frames.

The old rig is new again

Good ride today. 40 miles. Decent weather. Coulda been just a bit warmer but all-in-all a nice day. I cruised out towards Boiling Springs and back.

The Sillies have already managed to piss me off and we’re only three games into the season. Freakin’ a-holes.

Ditto Flyers. Dumbasses.

Years ago, back when I was a Deadhead, I gave away my Essential Clash CD. I had no interest. Is it too late to ask for it back? Yo, Kami? Since I’ve been listening to Fred on XM I’ve heard a bunch of Clash songs. Some familiar, some not. ALL of them are good. None of them suck. Now I think I need to purchase myself Essential Clash all over again. Good stuff.

Should I stay….

Or should I go now?

Stat of the Day

I’m a baseball fan. I’m a San Diego fan. In 38yrs of baseball in San Diego, last night was only the 6th game ever rained out. I Love it out there. I love my wife more.