Stanley

We’re headed up to Thompsontown to Erin’s Grandparent’s for a Thanksgiving feast today. It’s in Junita County, one county above Perry so anyone who knows anything about redneckery knows I’m knee deep in it today. And I say that with the warmest and most heartfelt intentions because Erin’s family from this area are the nicest kindest and funniest people you’ll meet. Hell, I was raised in Adams County. My neck is just a different shade of red.

Anyway, quick story. Back when I was wooooing the future Mrs. Kessel I was invited to my first Thanksgiving feast up Juniata way. It’s a big deal up there. Probably 20 people give or take. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, several dogs. I just try to blend in. No problems. Get through the meal. Awesome foodage. What does any man do after the meal? Of course, watch football. Convene in front of the TV in the living room…..where the dogs are chillin. Dog #1 named Milo is trained to assist Erin’s 2nd cousin, Jan, who has CP. Milo is a large but gentle dude. Nice fella. Must have cost a fortune. Dog #2 named ???? is Karla’s, Erin’s aunt. Dog2 is big, female, a mutt, and, pardon my French, a sped. As we’re watching football, the dogs are following each other around the room in circles sniffing and nudging, doing general dog type stuff. Until, without warning Dog2(THE FEMALE) mounts and begins humping Milo(THE MALE). For obvious reasons there are a few seconds of bedlam and mayhem. Looks of horror on many faces in the room. Now, how would you handle this? I’m in my first visit with these fine folks but I think this scenario is funny as hell. I’m trying to restrain from even a smirk until I notice Erin’s Grandfather, Stanley, laughing his ASS off, slapping his knee, and telling anyone that will listen “That’s the funniest damn thing I’ve ever seen!!!.” Which, pretty much, thanks to Stanley, was the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. Who knows what today will bring.
It snowed last night. Maybe an inch. Anyone who knows me knows I despise the white stuff. I hate it with all my being. I hate being cold. I hate snow. I hate ice. To me, nothing useful comes from snow and ice, and 30 degrees for that matter. Isn’t it just a little troubling that your body has a built-in reflex, called shivering, so you don’t DIE when get too cold? And we live our lives in this shit for 4 months a year!!!?? Thanks to Amy(The Real Legend) for calling to remind me this morning that, indeed, it did snow last night. Thanks. Enclosed you will find where my thoughts will be for the next 4 months. Happy Thanksgiving all.