Tuesday, January 15, 2008

The Invisible Rant

From time to time people ask my “why is it called antibike”. If you had the chance to ride along side me today as I rode to work you’d find the answer not once but twice. I’m typically fairly sympathetic towards most motorists as they merrily slave along in their day’s travels. It’s inevitable that someone will do something dumb to put me or them in harms way but most often it’s bad judgment, not a flagrant twitch of douchebaggery. Someone will see me and overreact by driving clear into the opposite lane of traffic or something along those lines.

What makes my head boil is when a driver clearly sees me yet still accelerates to pass me and then immediately makes a right turn in front of me, cutting me off in the process, as was the case this morning. That act is my number one asshole driver maneuver. There is NO WAY I can’t be visible to a person that pulls off that stunt. It is a total lack of respect for my safety, my life. A 3000lb car vs some chump on a 15lb bike. Nice odds. I chased that loser this morning, but get this, he obviously new he chopped me because he accelerated and drove off at a high rate in a very twisty residential neighborhood. Way-to-go tough guy. Congrats.

Not even a mile later some tard woman pulls off a perfect “I’m an asshole Camp Hill driver who parks on the wrong side of the road maneuver”. She does this right in front of me. She drives into my lane causing me to swerve and pass her on the opposite side of the road. Think about that for a moment. For an insant, this stupid driver is in my lane coming directly at me in her 3000lb car. I didn’t know her intentions until I was already by her. All I knew for sure was had I stayed put, I was meat. Had I swerved further to the right, I was meat.

After those two close-calls, I very seriously considered whether or not I somehow crossed over into some kind of parallel tard-driver dimension. A universe where me, your humble narrator, was invisible. I’m not joking. I’m not laughing right now. It wasn’t until I walked into Bob’s Bagel Shack and was greeted by friendly faces with my usual Everything Bagel that I knew I was visible.

So, there you have it. Antibike. My daily experiences as an afterthought on two wheels. The commuting equivalent to a pile of dog shat. The sentiment of, “yep, I see you, now get the hell outta my way or I’ll just run your ass over regardless”. None of which will make me stop either.

Little McHammy, VisitPA Ray, and myself commute regularly, if not religiously. Both McHammy and VisitPA Ray have longer commutes than I do so I’ll never out-commute them in terms of miles but there is one way I can. My goal is to out-percentage them. I know it’s still heavily skewed my way because even if it’s raining I only get rained on for 20 minutes or I only have to be frozen for 20 minutes but I’ll try to track my success rate and keep it posted here. YTD – 100%. Thursday looks tricky though. Chance of precip later in the day.

It was cool to finally visit The Coliseum Saturday night. Auntie Em took fine care of our table. Benny and Joshy were highly amusing in their own special way. I haven't been out that late in a loooong time. I'm not sure I'd go back there. It's just too much of a zoo. The food was good, but I can get better. The bowling was fun, but I can go better. Fun night though.

Speaking of McHammy, I wonder how he enjoyed his coffee beverage tonight?

No comments: